Annotated Bibliography & Essay Tools
Dean Barry handing me the diploma I worked so hard to earn. I was pregnant with Claire.
Research Paper Tutorials:
Instructional video on types of shots: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwbsYgZ7d-8 Documentary Techniques: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9adF3G0uWE&feature=related
Tutorial on MLA Format: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PRb6557EmI
Another video on formatting: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUbzPopdONo&feature=related
Works Cited MLA Format: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wKk7BXTfwo
Watch these to learn about Annotated Bibliography!
Annotated Bibliography (I like this guy:): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ds6ygs8JgHg
She says it more quickly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vewwR5NgX_k&feature=related
Purdue Owl- the BEST website for understanding MLA: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/557/01/
How to put quotes into your essays: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8CoVWLBgnA
Internal Citations-- Blending your sources with your own words: http://www.gorpcc.com/docs/IntegratingSourcesIntoYourResearchPaperhandout.pdf
The 'Grammar' of Television and Film Television and film use certain common conventions often referred to as the 'grammar' of these audiovisual media. This list includes some of the most important conventions for conveying meaning through particular camera and editing techniques (as well as some of the specialised vocabulary of film production).
Conventions aren't rules: expert practitioners break them for deliberate effect, which is one of the rare occasions that we become aware of what the convention is.
Instructional video on types of shots: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwbsYgZ7d-8 Documentary Techniques: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9adF3G0uWE&feature=related
Tutorial on MLA Format: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PRb6557EmI
Another video on formatting: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUbzPopdONo&feature=related
Works Cited MLA Format: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wKk7BXTfwo
Watch these to learn about Annotated Bibliography!
Annotated Bibliography (I like this guy:): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ds6ygs8JgHg
She says it more quickly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vewwR5NgX_k&feature=related
Purdue Owl- the BEST website for understanding MLA: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/557/01/
How to put quotes into your essays: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8CoVWLBgnA
Internal Citations-- Blending your sources with your own words: http://www.gorpcc.com/docs/IntegratingSourcesIntoYourResearchPaperhandout.pdf
The 'Grammar' of Television and Film Television and film use certain common conventions often referred to as the 'grammar' of these audiovisual media. This list includes some of the most important conventions for conveying meaning through particular camera and editing techniques (as well as some of the specialised vocabulary of film production).
Conventions aren't rules: expert practitioners break them for deliberate effect, which is one of the rare occasions that we become aware of what the convention is.
Samples Here is a sample of an annotation:
Kerr, Frances. "Feeling Half-Feminine: Modernism and the Politics of Emotion in
The Great Gatsby." American Literature 68 (1996): 405-31.
This is A brilliant analysis of the homoerotics in the novel-- Nick's attraction to McKee and to Gatsby. Kerr thinks the tennis girl with sweat on her lip is Jordan (which I think is wrong); shenotes that Jordan has more control over her emotions than the other women in the novel (Daisy and Myrtle). Kerr argues that Nick's narrative about his dumping her "leads the reader to believe that it is Jordan's indifference, shallowness, and dishonesty that prompt his move. The psychological subtext of Gatsby, however, suggests a motivation entirely different. Nick Carraway identifies with and feels most romantically drawn not to 'masculine' women but to 'feminine' men"(418). I used this article in my paper as proof of Nick’s attraction to men to support my case that he is, in fact, homosexual.
The first 4-5 sentences summarize the article (use at least 1 short quote). The last line tells how YOU used the article in your essay.
Sample citation of a movie review:
Ebert, Roger. "Twilight". Rev. of Twilight dir. by Catherine Hardwicke. Chicago-Sun
Times online. Chicago Sun-Times, 20 October 2008. Web. 02 November 2009.
To cite your reviews internally, since you don't have page numbers, you will use paragraph numbers. Example: (Ebert, par. 4).
If you have an article that has page numbers, or a book, then it looks like this:
(Martin 127).
Citations with paragraphs need a comma; citations with page numbers do NOT need a comma.
Sample citation of an article in an online database (like Ebschohost or Infotrac).
Martin, John. "Global Warming Strategies." Journal of Science 10.4 (2007): 145-167.
Ebschohost. Web. 02 November 2009.
Notice that the title of the journal is in italics; what follows is the volume and issue numbers, year of publication, page numbers, search database, and date you retrieved the article.
Exact Language-Samples Wordiness
Wordiness is taking more words than necessary to make your point. It may take the form of redundant expressions or phrases. To be sure, longer expressions may be appropriate at times as a matter of style or to avoid ambiguity. But some business writers clutter their sentences and paragraphs with words, phrases, and expressions that needlessly distract the reader.
Consistent elimination of wordiness results in a stronger, more concise writing style that is easier to read and provides fewer opportunities for misinterpretation. In contrast, a wordy style makes reading laborious and, thus, encourages skimming and leads to inattention. Do you wish the reader to carefully consider your message? If so, reduce wordiness to the extent possible. The examples below provide guidance for avoiding general forms of wordiness.
Click here for example: http://www2.gsu.edu/~accerl/wordiness/WO.html
Removing Nouns
Your message can become confused and lengthy when you use a wordy noun phrase instead of a verb. Instead of saying “give consideration to”, say “consider.” By doing this, you will reduce the number of words in your sentence, and convey a direct message that is easier to understand. Here is a list of some common noun phrases and the verb replacements:
Make a discovery of discover Perform an analysis of analyze Take action on act act Create a reduction in reduce Engage in preparation prepare Compound Prepositions
It is easy to replace compound prepositions with single words by simply asking yourself, “Would I talk like this?" Most people don’t use these wordy phrases when speaking, so it is easy to identify them in your writing.
For example, would you ever say “due to the fact that” or "subsequent to?” No, you would say “because” and “after.” Here are some more examples of wordiness caused by compound prepositions and the shorter form:
Despite the fact although For the amount of for The manner in which how Until such time as until At a later date later
Logical Fallacies-Samples Avoiding Logical Fallacies Logical fallacies are mistakes in reasoning. They may be intentional or unintentional, but in either case they undermine the strength of an argument. Some common fallacies are defined below. Please familiarize yourselves with them so that you can help writers to avoid them.
1) Hasty Generalization: A generalization based on too little evidence, or on evidence that is biased. Example: All men are testosterone-driven idiots. Or: After being in New York for a week, I can tell you: all New Yorkers are rude.
2) Either/Or Fallacy: Only two possibilities are presented when in fact several exist. Example: America: love it or leave it. Or: Shut down all nuclear power plants, or watch your children and grandchildren die from radiation poisoning.
3) Non Sequitur: The conclusion does not follow logically from the premise. Example: My teacher is pretty; I'll learn a lot from her. Or: George Bush was a war hero; he'll be willing to stand tough for America.
4) Ad Hominem: Arguing against the man instead of against the issue. Example: We can't elect him mayor. He cheats on his wife! Or: He doesn't really believe in the first amendment. He just wants to defend his right to see porno flicks.
5) Red Herring: Distracting the audience by drawing attention to an irrelevant issue. Example: How can he be expected to manage the company? Look at how he manages his wife! Or: Why worry about nuclear war when we're all going to die anyway?
6) Circular Reasoning: Asserting a point that has just been made. Sometimes called "begging the question." Example: She is ignorant because she was never educated. Or: We sin because we're sinners.
7) False Analogy: Wrongly assuming that because two things are alike in some ways, they must be alike in all ways. Example: An old grandmother's advice to her granddaughter, who is contemplating living with her boyfriend: "Why should he buy the cow when he can get the milk for free?"
8) Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc: The mistake of assuming that, because event a is followed by event b, event a caused event b. Example: It rained today because I washed my car. Or: The stock market fell because the Japanese are considering implementing an import tax.
9) Equivocation: Equates two meanings of the same word falsely. Example: The end of a thing is its perfection; hence, death is the perfection of life. (The argument is fallacious because there are two different definitions of the word "end" involved in the argument.)
STYLE Some of you write mixed-up or tangled sentences. Some of your write vague sentences. Some of you write wordy sentences. Some of you write choppy sentences or run-ons. Some of you don't realize that your sentences just aren't working and that it is a TASK for your reader to muddle through them. This is a great reference for understanding and developing STYLE in your writing:
http://www.dartmouth.edu/~writing/materials/student/ac_paper/style.shtml
Paragraphs & Topics What should a paragraph do? At the risk of being silly, consider this. What you look for in a partner, a reader looks for in a paragraph. You want a partner who is supportive, strong, and considerate to others. Similarly, a good paragraph will:
Because the topic sentence plays an important role in your paragraph, it must be crafted with care. When you've written a topic sentence, ask yourself the following questions:
Introductions and Conclusions Introductions and conclusions are among the most challenging of all paragraphs. Why? Because introductions and conclusions must do more than simply state a topic sentence and offer support. Introductions and conclusions must synthesize and provide context for your entire argument, and they must also make the proper impression on your reader.
Introductions Your introduction is your chance to get your reader interested in your subject. Accordingly, the tone of the paragraph has to be just right. You want to inform, but not to the point of being dull; you want to intrigue, but not to the point of being vague; you want to take a strong stance, but not to the point of alienating your reader. Pay attention to the nuances of your tone. Seek out a second reader if you're not sure that you've managed to get the tone the way you want it.
Equally important to the tone of the introduction is that your introduction needs to "place" your argument into some larger context. Some strategies follow:
Finally, you might want to consider writing your introduction AFTER you've written the rest of your paper. Many writers find that they have a better grip on their subject once they've done their first draft. This "better grip" helps them to craft an introduction that is sure-footed, persuasive, interesting, and clear. (Note: Any changes that you make to an introduction and/or thesis statement will affect the paper that follows. Simply adding the new introductory paragraph will not produce a "completed" paper.)
Beach 1
Strategies for Writing and Revising a Successful Timed Writing Writing an Introduction
The introduction serves the purpose of instilling interest, a sense of empathy, or an amount of background knowledge that will cause the reader to engage him or herself with what you have to say about the subject. Often you’ve heard that you need an "attention grabber", but more importantly you need to provide a way for the reader to see a personal interest in the subject. When writing on a general topic or responding to a specific writing prompt, you have many choices for your introduction:
1. Summarize the reading. When you are asked to respond to a specific text, such as a prompt for the Subject A exam, explain the key points made by the author of the writing focusing clearly on those points relevant to the question being asked. In James Dannenburg’s article "What I Did Was Legal, But Was it Right?" the author attempts to explain his actions when he decided to evade military service during the Vietnam War. He explains his attitudes toward war in general as well as his specific attitude toward the Vietnam War. He notes that his actions during the war may have helped many young men who also didn’t want to participate in the war and the majority of his essay is an attempt to come to terms with whatever feelings of guilt or honor Dannenburg feels almost 40 years later. In my opinion…[thesis]
(I recommend this approach at an introduction for the Subject A examination)
2. Give Background Information. When writing on a general subject, such as economic conditions in the U.S.A., give some background information on the subject. This is useful since your audience is interested already and you don’t need to engage in some kind of device to curry their interest. With inflation slowing down, many companies have understandably lowered prices, and the oil industry should be no exception. Consequently, homeowners have begun wondering whether the relatively high price of home heating oil is justified given the economic climate. It makes sense, therefore, for us to start examining the pricing policies of the major oil companies. In Francis Bacon’s essay "Big Oil and Big Politics" the writer senses a shift in priorities in Washington on the energy question. In my opinion…[thesis]
3. Define a key term or concept. Beginning your essay with a definition may be crucial to your readers’ understanding of your position on your prompt question, however using the phrase "According to Webster’s Dictionary…" or a variation is cliché. Don’t do it! Democracy is a form of government in which the ultimate authority is given to and exercised by the people. This may be so in theory, but recent elections, especially the 2000 presedential race, have raised concerns about the future of democracy as we know it and define it. Benjamin Pleasure’s essay "Big Trouble in Big Washington" makes the argument that the decline in the integrity of the voting process is destroying democracy. Pleasure’s argument… [thesis]
January 2003 Beach 2 January 2003
4. Tell an anecdote or story. Use this sparingly and only use a story that is obviously related to the issue, topic, or prompt at hand. Give proper accreditation to the source of the story. In a famous dialogue between two great American writers, F. Scott Fitzgerald once said, "The rich are different from you and me" to friend and drinking buddy Ernest Hemingway. To this statement Hemingway replied, "Yeah, they’ve got more money." This quick-witted exchange shows the attitudes that many Americans have towards people simply because they have amassed great wealth. In Elizabeth Johnson’s article "Will the Real Donald Trump Please Stand Up!" the author argues that many people create images in their heads of what people who are fabulously wealthy must be like, images that are many times far from the truth. In my opinion… [thesis]
5. MY LEASt favorite: Ask a question. Though asking a question is the easiest way to begin an essay, it is by far the most clichéd. That being said, take yourself to task to come up with a creative way to ask a question that will inspire your reader to read on. Have you ever killed a man? If you were called upon tomorrow to go to Iraq knowing that you might have to kill another person, could you do it? These same questions faced James Dannenburg almost 40 years ago when he, as a young man, chose to avoid being drafted to fight in the Vietnam War, a war he didn’t believe in. Dannenburg’s article "What I Did Was Legal, But Was it Right?" recounts the thoughts and feelings that whirled through his youthful mind. I think… [thesis]
6. Relate your topic to recent news. Conjuring a recent, well-known event in the mind of your reader can establish a connection between the subject and your reader, since it’s likely your reader is aware of the recent happening. It was only three years ago that two students shot and killed their classmates at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado. Though this is an extreme example, personal conflicts and social trials in our nation’s schools have left children, teens, and parents all with a sense of fear and confusion similar to no other time in our nation’s history. Sandra Timmons’s essay "A Classroom of Fear" focuses on the environment of insecurity many teenagers face everyday in our schools. Through my experience, I feel her argument… [thesis]
Remember: Avoid beginning your essay with your thesis or the answer to the prompt question. This is disorienting and dizzying for an academic audience that has been taught/trained to expect certain elements in a certain order in essay writing.
Conclusions Conclusions are also difficult to write. How do you manage to make the reader feel persuaded by what you've said? Even if the points of your paper are strong, the overall effect of your argument might fall to pieces if the paper as a whole is badly concluded.
Many students end their papers by simply summarizing what has come before. A summary of what the reader has just read is important to the conclusion - particularly if your argument has been complicated or has covered a lot of ground. But a good conclusion will do more. Just as the introduction sought to place the paper in the larger, ongoing conversation about the topic, so should the conclusion insist on returning the reader to that ongoing conversation, but with the feeling that they have learned something more. You don't want your reader to finish your paper and say, "So what?" Admittedly, writing a conclusion isn't easy to do.
Many of the strategies we've listed for improving your introductions can help you to improve your conclusions as well. In your conclusion you might:
The Argument Developing Your Argument: Evidence Students often ask how long a paragraph ought to be. Our response: "As long as it takes."
It's possible to make a point quickly. Sometimes it's desirable to keep it short. Notice the above paragraph, for example. We might have hemmed and hawed, talked about short paragraphs and long paragraphs. We might have said that the average paragraph is one-half to two-thirds of a page in length. We might have spent time explaining why the too-short paragraph is too short, and the too-long paragraph too long. Instead, we cut to the chase. After huffing and puffing through this paragraph (which is getting longer and longer all the time) we'll give you the same advice: a good paragraph is as long as it needs to be in order to illustrate, explore, and/or prove its main idea.
But length isn't all that matters in paragraph development. What's important is that a paragraph develops its idea fully, and in a manner that a reader can follow with ease.
Let's consider these two issues carefully. First: how do we know when an idea is fully developed? If your topic sentence is well-written, it should tell you what your paragraph needs to do. If my topic sentence declares, for example, that there are two conflicting impulses at work in a particular fictional character, then my reader will expect that I will define and illustrate these two impulses. I might take two paragraphs to do this; I might take one. My decision will depend on how important this matter is to my discussion. If the point is an important one, I take my time. I also (more likely than not) use at least two paragraphs. In this case, a topic sentence might be understood as controlling not only a paragraph, but an entire section of text.
When you've written a paragraph, ask yourself these questions:
You will also want to consider your method of reasoning when you construct your paragraph. Are you using inductive logic, working from clues towards your conclusion? If so, your paragraph will reflect this way of thinking: your evidence will come early on in the paragraph, and the topic sentence will appear at the end. If, on the other hand, you are using deductive logic, your paragraph will very likely be arranged like a syllogism. (For more information about constructing logical paragraphs, see Logic and Argument.)
Finally, remember that the modes of discourse that we outlined earlier can also serve as models for arranging information within a paragraph. If the purpose of a particular paragraph is to make a comparison, for example, your paragraph would be structured to assert that "A is like B in these three ways." And so on.
Coherence OK, so you've gotten this far: you have your thesis, your topic sentences, and truckloads of evidence to support the whole lot. You've spent three days writing your paragraphs, making sure that each paragraph argues one point and that this point is well supported with textual evidence. But when you read this essay back to yourself, you feel a profound sense of disappointment. Though you've followed your outline and everything is "in there," the essay just doesn't seem to hold together. It could be that you have a problem with coherence.
A lack of coherence is easy to diagnose, but not so easy to cure. An incoherent essay doesn't seem to flow. Its arguments are hard to understand. The reader has to double back again and again in order to follow the gist of the argument. Something has gone wrong. What?
Look for these problems in your paper:
1. Make sure that the grammatical subject of your sentences reflects the real subject of your paragraph. Go through your paragraph and underline the subjects of all your sentences. Do these subjects match your paragraph's subject in most cases? Or have you stuck the paragraph's subject into some other, less important part of the sentence? Remember: the reader understands an idea's importance according to where you place it. If your main idea is hidden as an object of a preposition in a subordinate clause, do you really think that your reader is going to follow what you are trying to say?
2. Make sure that your grammatical subjects are consistent. Again, look at the grammatical subjects of all your sentences. How many different subjects do you find? If you have too many different sentence subjects, your paragraph will be hard to follow. (Note: For the fun of it, underline the sentence subjects in paragraph one. You'll find three, more or less: you, the subject, and the reader. The relationship between the three is what this paragraph is all about. Accordingly, the paragraph is coherent.)
3. Make sure that your sentences look backward as well as forward. In order for a paragraph to be coherent, each sentence should begin by linking itself firmly to the sentence that came before. If the link between sentences does not seem firm, use an introductory clause or phrase to connect one idea to the other.
4. Follow the principle of moving from old to new. If you put the old information at the beginning of the sentence, and the new information at the end, you accomplish two things. First, you ensure that your reader is on solid ground: she moves from the familiar to the unknown. Second, because we tend to give emphasis to what comes at the end of a sentence, the reader rightfully perceives that the new information is more important than the old.
5. Use repetition to create a sense of unity. Repeating key words and phrases at appropriate moments will give your reader a sense of coherence in your work. Don't overdo it, however. You'll risk sounding redundant.
6. Use transition markers wisely. Sometimes you'll need to announce to your reader some turn in your argument. Or you'll want to emphasize one of your points. Or you'll want to make clear some relationship in time. In all these cases you'll want to use transition markers.
Here are some examples:
Kerr, Frances. "Feeling Half-Feminine: Modernism and the Politics of Emotion in
The Great Gatsby." American Literature 68 (1996): 405-31.
This is A brilliant analysis of the homoerotics in the novel-- Nick's attraction to McKee and to Gatsby. Kerr thinks the tennis girl with sweat on her lip is Jordan (which I think is wrong); shenotes that Jordan has more control over her emotions than the other women in the novel (Daisy and Myrtle). Kerr argues that Nick's narrative about his dumping her "leads the reader to believe that it is Jordan's indifference, shallowness, and dishonesty that prompt his move. The psychological subtext of Gatsby, however, suggests a motivation entirely different. Nick Carraway identifies with and feels most romantically drawn not to 'masculine' women but to 'feminine' men"(418). I used this article in my paper as proof of Nick’s attraction to men to support my case that he is, in fact, homosexual.
The first 4-5 sentences summarize the article (use at least 1 short quote). The last line tells how YOU used the article in your essay.
Sample citation of a movie review:
Ebert, Roger. "Twilight". Rev. of Twilight dir. by Catherine Hardwicke. Chicago-Sun
Times online. Chicago Sun-Times, 20 October 2008. Web. 02 November 2009.
To cite your reviews internally, since you don't have page numbers, you will use paragraph numbers. Example: (Ebert, par. 4).
If you have an article that has page numbers, or a book, then it looks like this:
(Martin 127).
Citations with paragraphs need a comma; citations with page numbers do NOT need a comma.
Sample citation of an article in an online database (like Ebschohost or Infotrac).
Martin, John. "Global Warming Strategies." Journal of Science 10.4 (2007): 145-167.
Ebschohost. Web. 02 November 2009.
Notice that the title of the journal is in italics; what follows is the volume and issue numbers, year of publication, page numbers, search database, and date you retrieved the article.
Exact Language-Samples Wordiness
Wordiness is taking more words than necessary to make your point. It may take the form of redundant expressions or phrases. To be sure, longer expressions may be appropriate at times as a matter of style or to avoid ambiguity. But some business writers clutter their sentences and paragraphs with words, phrases, and expressions that needlessly distract the reader.
Consistent elimination of wordiness results in a stronger, more concise writing style that is easier to read and provides fewer opportunities for misinterpretation. In contrast, a wordy style makes reading laborious and, thus, encourages skimming and leads to inattention. Do you wish the reader to carefully consider your message? If so, reduce wordiness to the extent possible. The examples below provide guidance for avoiding general forms of wordiness.
Click here for example: http://www2.gsu.edu/~accerl/wordiness/WO.html
Removing Nouns
Your message can become confused and lengthy when you use a wordy noun phrase instead of a verb. Instead of saying “give consideration to”, say “consider.” By doing this, you will reduce the number of words in your sentence, and convey a direct message that is easier to understand. Here is a list of some common noun phrases and the verb replacements:
Make a discovery of discover Perform an analysis of analyze Take action on act act Create a reduction in reduce Engage in preparation prepare Compound Prepositions
It is easy to replace compound prepositions with single words by simply asking yourself, “Would I talk like this?" Most people don’t use these wordy phrases when speaking, so it is easy to identify them in your writing.
For example, would you ever say “due to the fact that” or "subsequent to?” No, you would say “because” and “after.” Here are some more examples of wordiness caused by compound prepositions and the shorter form:
Despite the fact although For the amount of for The manner in which how Until such time as until At a later date later
Logical Fallacies-Samples Avoiding Logical Fallacies Logical fallacies are mistakes in reasoning. They may be intentional or unintentional, but in either case they undermine the strength of an argument. Some common fallacies are defined below. Please familiarize yourselves with them so that you can help writers to avoid them.
1) Hasty Generalization: A generalization based on too little evidence, or on evidence that is biased. Example: All men are testosterone-driven idiots. Or: After being in New York for a week, I can tell you: all New Yorkers are rude.
2) Either/Or Fallacy: Only two possibilities are presented when in fact several exist. Example: America: love it or leave it. Or: Shut down all nuclear power plants, or watch your children and grandchildren die from radiation poisoning.
3) Non Sequitur: The conclusion does not follow logically from the premise. Example: My teacher is pretty; I'll learn a lot from her. Or: George Bush was a war hero; he'll be willing to stand tough for America.
4) Ad Hominem: Arguing against the man instead of against the issue. Example: We can't elect him mayor. He cheats on his wife! Or: He doesn't really believe in the first amendment. He just wants to defend his right to see porno flicks.
5) Red Herring: Distracting the audience by drawing attention to an irrelevant issue. Example: How can he be expected to manage the company? Look at how he manages his wife! Or: Why worry about nuclear war when we're all going to die anyway?
6) Circular Reasoning: Asserting a point that has just been made. Sometimes called "begging the question." Example: She is ignorant because she was never educated. Or: We sin because we're sinners.
7) False Analogy: Wrongly assuming that because two things are alike in some ways, they must be alike in all ways. Example: An old grandmother's advice to her granddaughter, who is contemplating living with her boyfriend: "Why should he buy the cow when he can get the milk for free?"
8) Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc: The mistake of assuming that, because event a is followed by event b, event a caused event b. Example: It rained today because I washed my car. Or: The stock market fell because the Japanese are considering implementing an import tax.
9) Equivocation: Equates two meanings of the same word falsely. Example: The end of a thing is its perfection; hence, death is the perfection of life. (The argument is fallacious because there are two different definitions of the word "end" involved in the argument.)
STYLE Some of you write mixed-up or tangled sentences. Some of your write vague sentences. Some of you write wordy sentences. Some of you write choppy sentences or run-ons. Some of you don't realize that your sentences just aren't working and that it is a TASK for your reader to muddle through them. This is a great reference for understanding and developing STYLE in your writing:
http://www.dartmouth.edu/~writing/materials/student/ac_paper/style.shtml
Paragraphs & Topics What should a paragraph do? At the risk of being silly, consider this. What you look for in a partner, a reader looks for in a paragraph. You want a partner who is supportive, strong, and considerate to others. Similarly, a good paragraph will:
- Be Supportive.Even in the most trying of times a good paragraph will find a way to support the thesis. It will declare its relationship to the thesis clearly, so that the whole world knows what the paragraph intends to do. In other words, a supportive paragraph's main idea clearly develops the argument of the thesis.
- Be Strong.A good paragraph isn't bloated with irrelevant evidence or redundant sentences. Nor is it a scrawny thing, begging to be fed. It's strong and buffed. You know that it's been worked on. In other words, a strong paragraph develops its main idea, using sufficient evidence.
- Be Considerate.Good paragraphs consider their relationship to other paragraphs. A good paragraph never interrupts its fellow paragraphs to babble on about its own, irrelevant problems. A good paragraph waits its turn. It shows up when and where it's supposed to. It doesn't make a mess for other paragraphs to clean up. In other words, a considerate paragraph is a coherent paragraph. It makes sense within the text as a whole.
Because the topic sentence plays an important role in your paragraph, it must be crafted with care. When you've written a topic sentence, ask yourself the following questions:
- Does the topic sentence declare a single point of my argument? Because the reader expects that a paragraph will explore ONE idea in your paper, it's important that your topic sentence isn't too ambitious. If your topic sentence points to two or three ideas, perhaps you need to consider developing more paragraphs.
- Does the topic sentence further my argument? Give your topic sentences the same "so what?" test that you gave your thesis sentence. If your topic sentence isn't interesting, your paragraph probably won't serve to further the argument. Your paper could stall.
- Is the topic sentence relevant to my thesis? It might seem so to you, but the relevance may not be so clear to your reader. If you find that your topic sentence is taking you into new ground, stop writing and consider your options. You'll either have to rewrite your thesis to accommodate this new direction, or you will have to edit this paragraph from your final paper.
- Is there a clear relationship between this topic sentence and the paragraph that came before? It's important to make sure that you haven't left out any steps in the process of composing your argument. If you make a sudden turn in your reasoning, signify that turn to the reader by using the proper transitional phrase - on the other hand, however, etc.
- Does the topic sentence control my paragraph? If your paragraph seems to unravel, take a second look. It might be that your topic sentence isn't adequately controlling your paragraph and needs to be re-written. Or it might be that your paragraph is moving on to a new idea that needs to be sorted out.
- Where have I placed my topic sentence? Most of the time a topic sentence comes at the beginning of a paragraph. A reader expects to see it there, so if you are going to place it elsewhere, you'll need to have a good reason and a bit of skill. You might justify putting the topic sentence in the middle of the paragraph, for example, if you have information that needs to precede it. You might also justify putting the topic sentence at the end of the paragraph, if you want the reader to consider your line of reasoning before you declare your main point.
Introductions and Conclusions Introductions and conclusions are among the most challenging of all paragraphs. Why? Because introductions and conclusions must do more than simply state a topic sentence and offer support. Introductions and conclusions must synthesize and provide context for your entire argument, and they must also make the proper impression on your reader.
Introductions Your introduction is your chance to get your reader interested in your subject. Accordingly, the tone of the paragraph has to be just right. You want to inform, but not to the point of being dull; you want to intrigue, but not to the point of being vague; you want to take a strong stance, but not to the point of alienating your reader. Pay attention to the nuances of your tone. Seek out a second reader if you're not sure that you've managed to get the tone the way you want it.
Equally important to the tone of the introduction is that your introduction needs to "place" your argument into some larger context. Some strategies follow:
- Announce your topic broadly, then declare your particular take.For example, if you are interested in talking about the narrator in Virginia Woolf's novels, you might 1) begin by saying that Woolf's narrator has posed a problem for many of her critics; 2) provide a quick definition of the problem, as others have defined it; and 3) declare your thesis (which states your own position on the matter).
- Provide any background material important to your argument.If you are interested in exploring how turn of the century Viennese morality influenced the work of Sigmund Freud, you will in your introduction want to provide the reader, in broad strokes, a description of Vienna circa 1900. Don't include irrelevant details in your description; instead, emphasize those aspects of Viennese society (such as sexual mores) that might have most influenced Freud.
- Define key terms, as you intend to make use of them in your argument.If, for example, you are writing a philosophy paper on the nature of reality, it is absolutely essential that you define the term for your reader. How do you understand the term "reality," in the context of this paper? Empirically? Rationally? Begin with a definition of terms, and from there work towards the declaration of your argument.
- Use an anecdote or quotation.Sometimes you will find a terrific story or quotation that seems to reflect the main point of your paper. Don't be afraid to begin with it. Be sure, however, that you tie that story or quotation clearly and immediately to the main argument of your paper.
- Acknowledge your opponents.When you are writing a paper about a matter that is controversial, you might wish to begin by summarizing the point of view of your adversaries. Then state your own position in opposition to theirs. In this way you place yourself clearly in the ongoing conversation. Be careful, though: you don't want to make too convincing a case for the other side.
Finally, you might want to consider writing your introduction AFTER you've written the rest of your paper. Many writers find that they have a better grip on their subject once they've done their first draft. This "better grip" helps them to craft an introduction that is sure-footed, persuasive, interesting, and clear. (Note: Any changes that you make to an introduction and/or thesis statement will affect the paper that follows. Simply adding the new introductory paragraph will not produce a "completed" paper.)
Beach 1
Strategies for Writing and Revising a Successful Timed Writing Writing an Introduction
The introduction serves the purpose of instilling interest, a sense of empathy, or an amount of background knowledge that will cause the reader to engage him or herself with what you have to say about the subject. Often you’ve heard that you need an "attention grabber", but more importantly you need to provide a way for the reader to see a personal interest in the subject. When writing on a general topic or responding to a specific writing prompt, you have many choices for your introduction:
1. Summarize the reading. When you are asked to respond to a specific text, such as a prompt for the Subject A exam, explain the key points made by the author of the writing focusing clearly on those points relevant to the question being asked. In James Dannenburg’s article "What I Did Was Legal, But Was it Right?" the author attempts to explain his actions when he decided to evade military service during the Vietnam War. He explains his attitudes toward war in general as well as his specific attitude toward the Vietnam War. He notes that his actions during the war may have helped many young men who also didn’t want to participate in the war and the majority of his essay is an attempt to come to terms with whatever feelings of guilt or honor Dannenburg feels almost 40 years later. In my opinion…[thesis]
(I recommend this approach at an introduction for the Subject A examination)
2. Give Background Information. When writing on a general subject, such as economic conditions in the U.S.A., give some background information on the subject. This is useful since your audience is interested already and you don’t need to engage in some kind of device to curry their interest. With inflation slowing down, many companies have understandably lowered prices, and the oil industry should be no exception. Consequently, homeowners have begun wondering whether the relatively high price of home heating oil is justified given the economic climate. It makes sense, therefore, for us to start examining the pricing policies of the major oil companies. In Francis Bacon’s essay "Big Oil and Big Politics" the writer senses a shift in priorities in Washington on the energy question. In my opinion…[thesis]
3. Define a key term or concept. Beginning your essay with a definition may be crucial to your readers’ understanding of your position on your prompt question, however using the phrase "According to Webster’s Dictionary…" or a variation is cliché. Don’t do it! Democracy is a form of government in which the ultimate authority is given to and exercised by the people. This may be so in theory, but recent elections, especially the 2000 presedential race, have raised concerns about the future of democracy as we know it and define it. Benjamin Pleasure’s essay "Big Trouble in Big Washington" makes the argument that the decline in the integrity of the voting process is destroying democracy. Pleasure’s argument… [thesis]
January 2003 Beach 2 January 2003
4. Tell an anecdote or story. Use this sparingly and only use a story that is obviously related to the issue, topic, or prompt at hand. Give proper accreditation to the source of the story. In a famous dialogue between two great American writers, F. Scott Fitzgerald once said, "The rich are different from you and me" to friend and drinking buddy Ernest Hemingway. To this statement Hemingway replied, "Yeah, they’ve got more money." This quick-witted exchange shows the attitudes that many Americans have towards people simply because they have amassed great wealth. In Elizabeth Johnson’s article "Will the Real Donald Trump Please Stand Up!" the author argues that many people create images in their heads of what people who are fabulously wealthy must be like, images that are many times far from the truth. In my opinion… [thesis]
5. MY LEASt favorite: Ask a question. Though asking a question is the easiest way to begin an essay, it is by far the most clichéd. That being said, take yourself to task to come up with a creative way to ask a question that will inspire your reader to read on. Have you ever killed a man? If you were called upon tomorrow to go to Iraq knowing that you might have to kill another person, could you do it? These same questions faced James Dannenburg almost 40 years ago when he, as a young man, chose to avoid being drafted to fight in the Vietnam War, a war he didn’t believe in. Dannenburg’s article "What I Did Was Legal, But Was it Right?" recounts the thoughts and feelings that whirled through his youthful mind. I think… [thesis]
6. Relate your topic to recent news. Conjuring a recent, well-known event in the mind of your reader can establish a connection between the subject and your reader, since it’s likely your reader is aware of the recent happening. It was only three years ago that two students shot and killed their classmates at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado. Though this is an extreme example, personal conflicts and social trials in our nation’s schools have left children, teens, and parents all with a sense of fear and confusion similar to no other time in our nation’s history. Sandra Timmons’s essay "A Classroom of Fear" focuses on the environment of insecurity many teenagers face everyday in our schools. Through my experience, I feel her argument… [thesis]
Remember: Avoid beginning your essay with your thesis or the answer to the prompt question. This is disorienting and dizzying for an academic audience that has been taught/trained to expect certain elements in a certain order in essay writing.
Conclusions Conclusions are also difficult to write. How do you manage to make the reader feel persuaded by what you've said? Even if the points of your paper are strong, the overall effect of your argument might fall to pieces if the paper as a whole is badly concluded.
Many students end their papers by simply summarizing what has come before. A summary of what the reader has just read is important to the conclusion - particularly if your argument has been complicated or has covered a lot of ground. But a good conclusion will do more. Just as the introduction sought to place the paper in the larger, ongoing conversation about the topic, so should the conclusion insist on returning the reader to that ongoing conversation, but with the feeling that they have learned something more. You don't want your reader to finish your paper and say, "So what?" Admittedly, writing a conclusion isn't easy to do.
Many of the strategies we've listed for improving your introductions can help you to improve your conclusions as well. In your conclusion you might:
- Return to the ongoing conversation, emphasizing the importance of your own contribution to it.
- Consider again the background information with which you began, and illustrate how your argument has shed new light on that information.
- Return to the key terms and point out how your essay has added some new dimension to their meanings.
- Use an anecdote or quotation that summarizes or reflects your main idea.
- Acknowledge your opponents - if only to emphasize that you've beaten them.
- Remember: language is especially important to a conclusion. Your goal in your final sentences is to leave your ideas resounding in your reader's mind. Give her something to think about. Make your language ring.
The Argument Developing Your Argument: Evidence Students often ask how long a paragraph ought to be. Our response: "As long as it takes."
It's possible to make a point quickly. Sometimes it's desirable to keep it short. Notice the above paragraph, for example. We might have hemmed and hawed, talked about short paragraphs and long paragraphs. We might have said that the average paragraph is one-half to two-thirds of a page in length. We might have spent time explaining why the too-short paragraph is too short, and the too-long paragraph too long. Instead, we cut to the chase. After huffing and puffing through this paragraph (which is getting longer and longer all the time) we'll give you the same advice: a good paragraph is as long as it needs to be in order to illustrate, explore, and/or prove its main idea.
But length isn't all that matters in paragraph development. What's important is that a paragraph develops its idea fully, and in a manner that a reader can follow with ease.
Let's consider these two issues carefully. First: how do we know when an idea is fully developed? If your topic sentence is well-written, it should tell you what your paragraph needs to do. If my topic sentence declares, for example, that there are two conflicting impulses at work in a particular fictional character, then my reader will expect that I will define and illustrate these two impulses. I might take two paragraphs to do this; I might take one. My decision will depend on how important this matter is to my discussion. If the point is an important one, I take my time. I also (more likely than not) use at least two paragraphs. In this case, a topic sentence might be understood as controlling not only a paragraph, but an entire section of text.
When you've written a paragraph, ask yourself these questions:
- Do I have enough evidence to support this paragraph's idea?
- Do I have too much evidence? (In other words, will the reader be lost in a morass of details, unable to see the argument as a whole?)
- Does this evidence clearly support the assertion I am making in this paragraph, or am I stretching it?
- If I am stretching it, what can I do to persuade the reader that this stretch is worth making?
- Am I repeating myself in this paragraph?
- Have I defined all of the paragraph's important terms?
- Can I say, in a nutshell, what the purpose of this paragraph is?
- Has the paragraph fulfilled that purpose?
You will also want to consider your method of reasoning when you construct your paragraph. Are you using inductive logic, working from clues towards your conclusion? If so, your paragraph will reflect this way of thinking: your evidence will come early on in the paragraph, and the topic sentence will appear at the end. If, on the other hand, you are using deductive logic, your paragraph will very likely be arranged like a syllogism. (For more information about constructing logical paragraphs, see Logic and Argument.)
Finally, remember that the modes of discourse that we outlined earlier can also serve as models for arranging information within a paragraph. If the purpose of a particular paragraph is to make a comparison, for example, your paragraph would be structured to assert that "A is like B in these three ways." And so on.
Coherence OK, so you've gotten this far: you have your thesis, your topic sentences, and truckloads of evidence to support the whole lot. You've spent three days writing your paragraphs, making sure that each paragraph argues one point and that this point is well supported with textual evidence. But when you read this essay back to yourself, you feel a profound sense of disappointment. Though you've followed your outline and everything is "in there," the essay just doesn't seem to hold together. It could be that you have a problem with coherence.
A lack of coherence is easy to diagnose, but not so easy to cure. An incoherent essay doesn't seem to flow. Its arguments are hard to understand. The reader has to double back again and again in order to follow the gist of the argument. Something has gone wrong. What?
Look for these problems in your paper:
1. Make sure that the grammatical subject of your sentences reflects the real subject of your paragraph. Go through your paragraph and underline the subjects of all your sentences. Do these subjects match your paragraph's subject in most cases? Or have you stuck the paragraph's subject into some other, less important part of the sentence? Remember: the reader understands an idea's importance according to where you place it. If your main idea is hidden as an object of a preposition in a subordinate clause, do you really think that your reader is going to follow what you are trying to say?
2. Make sure that your grammatical subjects are consistent. Again, look at the grammatical subjects of all your sentences. How many different subjects do you find? If you have too many different sentence subjects, your paragraph will be hard to follow. (Note: For the fun of it, underline the sentence subjects in paragraph one. You'll find three, more or less: you, the subject, and the reader. The relationship between the three is what this paragraph is all about. Accordingly, the paragraph is coherent.)
3. Make sure that your sentences look backward as well as forward. In order for a paragraph to be coherent, each sentence should begin by linking itself firmly to the sentence that came before. If the link between sentences does not seem firm, use an introductory clause or phrase to connect one idea to the other.
4. Follow the principle of moving from old to new. If you put the old information at the beginning of the sentence, and the new information at the end, you accomplish two things. First, you ensure that your reader is on solid ground: she moves from the familiar to the unknown. Second, because we tend to give emphasis to what comes at the end of a sentence, the reader rightfully perceives that the new information is more important than the old.
5. Use repetition to create a sense of unity. Repeating key words and phrases at appropriate moments will give your reader a sense of coherence in your work. Don't overdo it, however. You'll risk sounding redundant.
6. Use transition markers wisely. Sometimes you'll need to announce to your reader some turn in your argument. Or you'll want to emphasize one of your points. Or you'll want to make clear some relationship in time. In all these cases you'll want to use transition markers.
Here are some examples:
- To show place - above, below, here, there, etc.
- To show time - after, before, currently, during, earlier, later, etc.
- To give an example - for example, for instance, etc.
- To show addition - additionally, also, and, furthermore, moreover, equally important, etc.
- To show similarity - also, likewise, in the same way, similarly, etc.
- To show an exception - but, however, nevertheless, on the other hand, on the contrary, yet, etc.
- To show a sequence - first, second, third, next, then, etc.
- To emphasize - indeed, in fact, of course, etc.
- To show cause and effect - accordingly, consequently, therefore, thus, etc.
- To conclude or repeat - finally, in conclusion, on the whole, in the end, etc.
